Chat Roulette: The new phenomenon sweeping the Internet. It’s one of those things that first came to my attention through old mate Twitter. I just figured it was another tech-savvy fad like Google Wave; Interesting, possibly even helpful, but I’d probably never use it.
Then Joe came to work with the revelation that his mate Max had used Chat Roulette and talked to Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba. I want to talk to Jessica Alba. Apparently he got a screenshot too, so it’s legit.
The following day, Joe came in and recalled last night’s adventures on chatroulette.com. He didn’t talk to Jessica Alba. Nothing of the sort, no sir, nothing like Jessica Alba. What he saw was far more disgusting. I was alarmed – grown men go on chat roulette with the sole purpose of wanking their dicks in to a camera. I suppose they do so in the faint hope of finding a sexy lady to look at, but there’s every chance that they don’t really mind what they find. Exhibitionists of sorts I guess.
Why then did I feel the need to go home and sell the idea to my flat mate? We jumped on; maybe I wanted to see if people were that sick. Maybe I wanted to see Jessica Alba. I think part of me knew what I was going to find - deviants playing with themselves. But I did it anyway, and most people I’ve talked to lately have also taken part.
What I got was a whole lot of nothing – it seems that the sight of two young dudes sitting in a room instantly forced people to click the ‘next’ button. Demoralised, we quickly recruited Tim – my other flat mate – and his girlfriend Nicki. Nicki was the bait and it worked a treat. We were meeting people left right and centre. She had enough though and we had to wait until my lady friend Sian came over till we were back in business.
Sian knew what was going on, and while initially hesitant, we peer pressured her in to sticking with it. After a while she got over the nerves and started having a little bit of fun. Until the inevitable happened, we saw a man pleasuring himself. She squealed and ran off. Ben and I laughed lots. That was it. We got to see what we were there to see. I think. I dunno.
At least some people are a little creative, Joe saw one guy holding up a stick figure drawing but his penis was poking out. That’s legit. And so is this video.