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As you may have already heard – unless you had the good fortune of missing this particular ‘news’ piece – apparently “New Zealand is to set to get its very own version of hit US TV show Keeping Up with the Kardashians, with Sally Ridge and daughter Jaime set to star in their very own reality show”.
You can read all about it here, but it’s pretty clear from the majority of the 500 strong comments that there’s a strong sense of disgust and anger that such a show would even be considered to air on National television. But you’ve got to say, with the pure amount of reaction to it, a lot of people would watch it. Reality tv thrives on polarising characters; and I’m sure there’d be a neat mix of arts and crafts, sports stars, social schmoozing and intelligent conversation to satisfy a whole range of viewers.
We came up with our own pitch, because as everyone knows, for a television show to be successful in NZ it should always star the fierce Colin Mathura-Jeffree (CMJ to you and me). eh.
TV Adverts are an interesting thing. I’ll quite often sit in front of the television and wonder just what inspired some half-wit to waste their money on an utterly useless tvc. Other times I have to applaud how aggressively they focus on their market, like this Brut ad that I saw at half time in the NZ v Aus league test on Saturday night. Brutally male. Laddish. Blokey. High class. Excellent CGI. Really creative. Brilliant - fits Brut like a glove. poos.
There's also the Rexona Dan Carter ad where he loses the front wheel of his bike and proceeds to calmly and cooly cruise down the bushy slope on one wheel before re-connecting with his long lost front wheel - thanks to the cooling rexona he has under his arms. They should've had his wheel fall off and him violently falling down the hill, crashing in to every rock on the way - with the tagline, At least Dan Carter don't have sweaty armpits after a serious biking accident. Sheeiit.
I've got an idea for a Powerade ad as well. It's World Cup time, the All Blacks have just won the Final. I'd like to see a hungover Dan Carter stumbling in to a servo' to pick up a blue powerade after a big night out on the lash celebrating. Later that day he's strolling through a press room all smiles, when he should really have his head in the toilet. Powerade - Helps makes you feel less shit when you're hungover. Cos let's face it, that's what most of us use powerade for.
I also celebrate the entire range of Thin Lizzy commercials. The strength is in the Thin Lizzy jingle. What a treat of a jingle, their new 'Thin Lizzy Concealer' jingle hasn't dropped online yet, but I've heard it on the new ad, and the autotune is a nice touch. They know what's hip, and they've nailed it big time lol.
With commercials, all I ask for is a bit of effort and application. ‘Vinny T’ from the Furniture Guy (video below) has it in spades, no budget necessary – and whilst his planning is clearly lacking – the result is overwhelming. You know your video is awesome when Philip Seymour Hoffman parodies it. Philip Seymour Hoffman.
But yeah, this guy. He's decided to make a commercial, he's had an idea, and he's just gone for it. I respect that. Clearly, he understands how cool he looks atop that trailer in his leather, playing his elctric guitar. It's natural, it's accessible, it's real, and he handles himself with grace and poise throughout. Good work Vinny. Oh yeah, I'm fine.
Our mate Rick Giles has issued a response. Perhaps a regular spot on Sunrise is in order. The Anti-Ollie: Rick Giles.
There’s been a huge furore over those photos published of Corporal Willie Apiata, VC, in Afghanistan. I just want to say one thing. He looks so freaking awesome, even my dear old Mum said, “He looks really tough and cool”.
Joe is considering enlisting after seeing the picture, on the flip side, I feel like way less of a man having seen that picture. It’s a similar feeling I get after watching Man vs. Wild. Bear Grylls is the man, and a far better man than I.
I also see that Millie Holmes/Elder has been arrested again.
That's a piece of poo with decorations on it Millie. from a distance it may look like chocolate or something good and nice, but I assure you it's not. it adds a little bit more to society than you do.
Sorry about the lack of blogs lately. I’ve been busy living my life. Reoow. Nah just jokes; I’ve just been well busy with Mr Vintage stuff, but I’m back now. Today a nice lady even emailed in to say she was missing the blogs. That was a really lovely thing to say; I thought the only people that read this blog were my Mum and people that were looking for prizes to win.
The Father. Joe our designer is an avid fan of his specs and swagger.
Thinking about what’s been going on in NZ lately, it’s pretty slim pickings really – Brian Tamaki aside – we seem to just be coasting along nicely. I’ll refrain from saying too much about the Bishop/The Father/Jesus or whatever he goes by these days. He’s good for a laugh though, and I’m stoked he’s around to entertain me.
Lately when it’s been really cold and I feel like I’m at the end of myself I just look at my ‘covenant ring’ that the Bishop gave me and then I smile again for ages and feel all warm and sunny in my belly. He is such a genuine guy, and I really appreciate that he told me I was allowed to copy his hairstyle. I am working on it at the moment, but I need a bit more length and I’m not sure how he gets that greasy feel to his hair but he was nice enough to recommend this product called ‘Gel for real Men’ that you can obtain from the $2 shop which is such a bargain for what it is.
This guy has to be one of the quickest thinking cops around. I’m terribly stoked that cops can actually have a bit of a laugh like regular people too. I remember when I worked at Mitre 10 we used to always play little games as well – like seeing how many times we could slip in the F-word when talking to non-English speaking customers. His gag is way better though. And it's true... You must always blow on the pie. Safer communities together. I was talking to my old mate the other day, who's a cop, and he knows this dude. Reckons he's not even that funny, and his persona is more 'boring and grumpy' than 'funny and hilarious'. Interesting.
Watched Outrageous Fortune last night. I’ve watched it for a while; I think it’s a good show with some good characters. Last night’s finale was a cracker… if you missed it I suggest you check it out. People were updating their facebooks and tweeting tweets about it. Crazy.
It’s amazing what some people put on their status updates. Anything and everything. Case in point Joe our designer. The guy is full of updates – he’ll update about his lunch, music, bowel movements and mood. He’s easily the most sensitive of all the guys here. But there’s far worse than Joe, check out this update. It’s not the sort of information you need to share on facebook…
Turns out we weren’t the only ones cool enough to comment on ‘Moustache-Gate’. This dude James at George FM made this sweet remix-track of Paul Henry’s moustache gate. We reckon its rad. Check it out here. Thanks James, awesome tune.
So by now everyone’s seen the Paul Henry ‘Moustache-gate’ video. Quality. For those of you who haven’t and those of you who just want to have another laugh – here it is.
I love how concerned Alison is when she realises Paul is about to read the letters. She’s such a cutie in this video. It took me about 5 watches to get over Pauls antics, and then I realised that I would gladly marry her and live happily ever after. Blast you Simon. Blast you. Now, I’m Pippa Wetzells biggest fan, don’t get me wrong. But Alison is doing a bangin job of filling in. I hope she knows we appreciate her. Because we really do. Anyway, we’ve made the Paul Henry ‘Moustache-gate’ t-shirt – and I’m happy to report, we’ve not received one email telling us how much they detest Paul Henry or the fact that we’ve made the t-shirt. And I know a few people don’t like our friend Paul. We do – even though he wasn’t particularly as blunt on the David Bain t-shirt fiasco. Every good boy deserves a second chance. And my how you’ve taken yours with aplomb Paul.
A moustache on a lady. Stephanie the Greenpeace chick. Not Sarah. She's a friend who has no moustache at all.
On the actual incident, it’s clear that she did have a moustache. And that’s not really cool. Good on her for taking a stand and having a bit a hair on the upper lip – Lord knows that if I could, I would (gosh darn puberty has just forgotten about my face). But I don’t think people can get angry when others talk about said moustache. If it’s not the norm, people will notice. She was on National TV, so it’s to be expected that people notice and comment. Time to shoot the elephant in the corner me thinks.
Start a group. Really.
I liked how they’ve managed to get two pretty-ish sisters and pit them against each other though – bringing to the fore all the pent up angst and insecurity they’ve held inside for years. I can just see how it would’ve played out at the team meeting....
Producer: They’re sisters? (Light-bulb!) I know. Let’s get them both on the show. Let me just run through my 5-point checklist.
1. Rift – Check.
2. Drama – Check.
3. Mildly interesting – Check.
4. Lack of any other ideas – Check.
5. Enough to keep my job and hang on for another series – I hope so. I seriously hope so.
Good work team. Now to find; Someone ethnic to bring up the race card Someone with an illness, maybe depression or an addiction – no, someone with both! Someone with a child who wants to go home soon. Actually, get a few - they’ll bond and form a click - genius. And can we please find someone that has more than an ounce of fat so we can make her feel bad about it?!
I think once we’ve got that we should be good to go. Who’d have thought? The whole show planned in one meeting. Reality TV has totally saved my job. Rubbish. And I’m not even a very cynical person.