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 Enquiry of the dayThis one has it all, most beautiful t-shirts (I'm assuming that's the Keep NZ Beautiful t-shirts) and the enquiry order. I love when people just ask for t-shirts via an enquiry. Some people get very confused with the concept of online shopping. Good way to start the week!
Hi, I want to buy 3 t-shirts on the $75 deal. 2 x the Most beautiful tshirts in black and 1 x the spaceman t-shirt in black. All in XL. I want them for christmas presents.... thanks.
Enquiry of the dayToday we got given this suggestion via the website:
have a new differant t-shirt for everyday. and bring back retired designs. otherwise awesomeeee work :)
Next thing you know she'll be telling us to make t-shirts with NZ maps on them jjlol (just joking, laughing out loud).
Pissy McDribble-DickWe’ve got a new staff member. His name is Pissy McDribble-Dick; he just hangs out around the place for the most part, namely the rim of the toilet and on the toilet floor. He’s quite smelly, and I just think he’s just really inconsiderate for the most part. He seems to think he owns the place, maybe because of the example his cousins Crumby McPoo-Particles and Curly McPubey-Hairs have set previously at Mr Vintage. Cute nicknames aside, the issue is getting out of hand. Sure, in a largely male dominated workforce such as ours, I’m not naive enough to expect the toilet is going to smell like Roses. But we’re grown men. The other day I walked in there and the piss stench reminded me of the Auckland Grammar toilets – a truly horrible memory. I’ll be honest; ALL men will miss the toilet sometimes. Whether it’s splash-back, pure negligence, or the dribble of the dregs – they all count. And that’s fine – so long as you clean it up, old mate Pissy McDribble-Dick has no interest in cleaning it up. Many have a ritual; I myself will go the extra mile to ensure there’s no evidence, even if it’s not mine – to spare the embarrassment of someone thinking you’re a dribble dick, if nothing else. So we’ve started the inquest, basically consisting of Andy slipping in to the toilet in stealth mode immediately after someone has departed to check for dribbles. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it. We have a few promising leads, and we’ll keep you updated on the whereabouts of Pissy McDribble-Dick.
Gosh I hope it doesn't come to this. an open-door, sit down wees policy.
Joe Likes Burgers
The other day I was eating dinner at my flat - I do this from time to time, cash flow pending – when we got on to the subject of food consumption; namely speed and volume. We all rated ourselves, and inevitably compared stories of ‘that guy’ we know that can just eat and eat.
Everyone’s got one of these friends. You know the guy; they shovel their food down faster than everyone else at the table, then sit and wait patiently, eyeing up everyone else’s food at the table; carefully analysing which female is most likely to be defeated by her meal and therefore present an opportunity for this food-loving machine to ‘mop up the scraps’.
I’ve got a few friends that fit in to this category, and one of them is Joey Wharehinga, who I have the good fortune of working alongside on a daily basis. Being able to observe this beast in close proximity and study his eating habits has been quite a wild ride. I’ve always known he had a love of food – you only have to check out his twitter to know that much (@justjoe_) – but today he told me a story that perfectly illustrated his lust for greasy burgers.  Joe. thinking of cheeseburgers. I've seen Joe drive 15 cheeseburgers in to that gut.Somehow, throughout the course of this socialising filled evening, he was able to fit in visits to Wendy’s, the one and only White Lady, AND McDonalds. He reckons these visits spanned about 3 hours, and included 10 burgers (including the sizeable White Lady burgers). I was quite astounded that he achieved this feat, all the while still downing a few brews. So astounded in fact that I just had to share it with all of you. Marvel. Here’s what Joe drove in to his gut on that fateful Saturday night: Wendy’s: 1 x Bacon Cheeseburger – snack. The White Lady: 1 x Cheeseburger – filled a gap. McDonald’s: 1 x Big Mac Combo – standard. 1 x Fillet O Fish – piss. 1 x McChicken – processed treat. no mayo. 1 x Quarter Pounder – excessive meat. 4 x Cheeseburgers – dirty little cocksuckers. Monday: 1 x Day off work in bed sick - soft. p.s. I also used to know this guy at Primary School who could run on gravel with bare feet without losing any of his speed. what a result. Fun With Boba
The other day the coolest thing happened. Some lady from Hasbro asked us if we wanted to give away some of the new Star Wars toys, which we kindly accepted. I know we’re supposed to be giving them away and all that, but it was just too hard, we had to open one Boba Fett Helmet; we resisted it for a whole day but he just keep looking at me. We all had a turn wearing the helmet, and did a few gag photos of us meandering through our every day work, but wearing the helmet whilst doing so.
Crack up. What happened after that was quite disgusting, but nevertheless more entertaining than a few lame shots of us wearing the helmet at our desks. Introducing, Hayden ‘The Hammer’ Bentley. P.s. It’s Hayden’s 21st on Saturday, so for all Ladies wanting to send in their panties, just drop them off to our store at 302 Great North Rd. Oh yeah, giveaway to follow next week. And all the toys are brand new, completely clean and sterilized.  Steve keeps the Ajax at arms reach at all times. OCD. Me. Super Kawaii. Andy. drinking coffee. like a boss. Wharehinga. dope bro. Fett. at the bus stop. lol. I was going to put something like, "Greetings earthlings" but then I realised that wasn't funny at all. Mel. Old man Phil got amongst it, before declaring: "it's not practical". Rob did wees out of his winky. it's so white, almost porcelain, and rumored to have no scent. Rob offered $50 for Hayden to strip down. Should fund half an hour in town for him. The Money shot. spread eagle.St Pattys and Social Media = Good Times
I remember in my youth St. Patrick’s Day was an occasion that I always looked forward to. At one party, we went to a friend’s flat and threw her chairs off her deck; it was awesome. My friend Ben ended up marrying her flatmate as well, crazy.
Another St. Patrick’s Day we went to town, not like Pony club with Brooke-Howard-Hyphenate or anything, just to some bars that you don’t need a girl with you or pointy shoes on to get into. At the end of the night we had to pull over on Hillsborough Rd and I helped old mate Will (Bens brother) spew on the side of the road. Ben drove past and waved, which was nice of him. This year was fun, but in a much different way. We had Social Media Fun. Man, I’m 25 years old this year and for the first time I totally feel 25. Back to the Social Media fun, we had a whole bunch of St. Paddys tees leftover. We needed to get rid of the tees quickly, as we were finishing at 3pm to go to the pub; I needed to decide what to do for dinner, and we wanted to have a few drinks before we left. We thought we’d get our friends on twitter and facebook to help us out. We first asked them to bring a potato (preferably waxy) to the shop, in return for a free St. Paddys tee – Good return. Then we asked them to bring down some Guinness, well, any alcohol really – Success. We then asked them to bring down a scoop of hot chips for a t-shirt – Great Success!  In the end we got: 4 Waxy Potatoes 8 bottles of Guinness 12 Cans of Guinness 6 Cans of Steinlager 2 Bottles of Heineken 2 Bottles of Carlsberg 1 Bottle of Wine 1 Bottle of Opal Nera Two Baileys n Cream shots AND 1 Scoop of Hot Chips! RESULT. After a few drinks we went down to the Dogs Bollix for some loud Irish Music and a few more drinks. I left at about 5pm, without having a drink, with the other guys. I then went home, had some dinner with my lover, went home and was in bed by 9.30pm. I later received a txt that my name was on the door for the ‘Dead Weather’ gig (Jack White’s band) at the Powerstation. But I was already in bed. On St. Patrick’s Day. I’m 24 years old. And washed up. Round the Bays 2010
‘Round the Bays’ was on Sunday, and just like previous years we went from Quay St in the City along to the waterfront at St Heliers Bay. Some ran and some walked; either way, it was a joyous occasion for all, and the BBQ after really topped it off. Check the team. RUN AK!
Rob ran in his Prada glasses. #fag. Being the masters of Marketing and all, we really kicked ass in that our t-shirt didn't even have our logo or any branding on it. Victory.  Team Vintage. We run this shit.NZ Gift Fair
From Sunday through Wednesday (7th – 9th) we were at the Autumn NZ Gift Fair. It was pretty good value, met a few good store-owners and the like. As always with these types of events, we spend a good portion of the time watching people, judging them. Just a little bit, but I’m not going to lie about it – it’s what we do. That and draw naughty pictures of the people we see.
So while we were there – looking, judging, and drawing – Rob decided to dabble in a little bit of rap, as he likes to from time to time. While I can’t show you the pictures we drew (NSFW), I can post the rap. Here goes.
Gift fair – Where we stare. by Rob EwanJust been at the Gift Fair selling tees, Amongst other NZ stuff that was all pretty cheese Saw heaps of Mums with dyed hair, Their beads and bracelets made us stare We were opposite a lady selling disco balls, Like a $2 store in one of those crappy malls Women pass with their blonde hair and dyed red fringes, What’s up with that - can’t they see everyone’s cringes? Oh well it’s time to pack up and leave Shout out to my Dad who got a job today, his name's Steve I tried finding a picture of the type of clientele there, but it seems searching "Mum hairdos with highlights and necklaces and bangles" does not yeild the desired image results. So instead, here's Rapper Rob.  bad ass.The Double Pounder and Pounder TooHayden came in to work today with a great drunken tale. He does this a lot. Youths. Him and his white mates purchased a few bottles of wine and drove them in to their guts. Drunk. Then, as it is done, they visited McDonalds. That’s when Hayden decided he wanted to see one of his friends eat a ‘Pounder’ (comprised of 4 quarter patties w/ cheese in-between each). His tall mate Ollie was up for it, so Hayden obliged and set him on his way. Ollie can’t say no. But that’s another yuck story. He finished with ease, the only evidence being a slight sheen to his face. Meat sweats. So Hayden got him a Double Pounder. 8 patties. 8 slices of cheese. $27 Large. The McDonalds manager was so stoked - he had never seen this feat achieved before - he was taking photos and even arranged for a bin to be positioned beside Ollie so he could put his meaty/winey guts in there.  Glad I'm vegetarian.Christmas Party Debauchery
Sorry it’s taken so long to report back with the results from the Christmas Party on Friday, but I just can’t handle hangovers like I used to… I’ve spent the last few days just wallowing away feeling like someone made me do 18 shots of petrol.
The Christmas Party was highly anticipated this year, with the largest attendance ever recorded – a testament to our rapid growth this year. And it didn’t disappoint. It was a night of drama, competition, revelation and romance. But first, a recap of the amazing race challenge. Turns out my predictions were spot on. Team A: 2nd Joe, Andy, Rob, Andrea. Early predictions of underhand tactics proved correct when the opening task of putting together a puzzle resulted in Joe and Andy ambushing Team B and destroying their almost completed puzzle. While they performed several tasks with aplomb and admirably attended every checkpoint on time, they just weren’t good enough in the end. Team B: 3rd= Jay, Hayden, Jared, Matt. Exceeded expectations by even making it out of the bar and ticking a few tasks off the list. Unfortunately that only lasted about 20 minutes before they were back at the bar – where they set about working their way through the shots menu – missing every checkpoint along the way. Only got kicked out of one bar, which is a sensible effort all things considered. Team C: 1st Mel, Sarah, Francesca, Phil. We don’t really know how they did it, but they did. The power puff girls dominated from start to finish displaying enthusiasm, determination and organization. Not exactly a crowd favorite, but congratulations are in order. Seeing Phil kiss his medal all night made us sick. After that we went back to work for a few drinks, before heading out to Monsoon Poon for one of the most delicious meals we’ve ever had. Thanks Monsoon Poon – we endorse what you do. A night on the tiles followed at Casette9 and later Honey Bar. We lost a few along the way, and Saturday morning work sucked, but we got it done. Highlights of the night: 
Christmas Party Predictions
So we’ve got our Christmas party today. And there’s only one thing I love more than Christmas Parties, and that’s Weddings. Nohomo - I just love whipping off the tie and putting it around my head for the dance portion of the evening. In 2007 we went to the Mexican café and got drunk and then did some Karaoke, which was a blast. Last year we got drunk and then went to Spookers, which again was a blast.
TEAM A
So this year we’re doing an Amazing Race type deal where we cavort around the CBD looking for clues and stuff like that. Which we will be doing drunk. There are three teams, and the razzing has already begun. A healthy rivalry is developing, so I thought I’d take a closer look at the teams and their credentials.
Members: Hayden, Mat, Jay, and Jarred
Captain: Jay Strengths: Underdogs for obvious reasons; their understated preparation means they’re a team not to be ignored, partly because there are only two other teams. Weakness: A penchant for getting hammered drunk could see this team spending a large portion of this competition up a tree with a 12 box each playing ‘possum’. A realistic outcome. Media Tag: Party boys with no fear and nothing to lose, except their police diversions. Prediction: Unlikely victors, they’re quick on their feet and are unlikely to be phased by pressure or time restrictions. 3rd TEAM B
Members: Joe, Andy, Rob, Andrea
Captain: Joe Strengths: Several ‘Captain of Industry’ types; there’s certainly a competitive streak in Team B. Weaknesses: Arrogance, in which they possess an abundant amount. Andy’s reluctance to break a sweat, resulting in muscle loss. And the big question; can Andrea step out of big bro Robs shadow and make a contribution. Media Tag: Pompous men unafraid of using underhand tactics. They talk a lot but it remains to be seen if it’s all bullshit. Prediction: The tactical nous of Andy, the silent leadership style of Joe and the can-do attitude of Rob should see them competing for a top three spot. 2nd TEAM C
Members: Francesca, Sarah, Mel, Phil
Captain: Mel Strengths: With a particularly female presence, this team undoubtedly has drive and organisation the other teams lack. They’ve copped a lot of pre-party criticism – motivation. In Mel they have a competent leader. Weaknesses: With Phil being the only guy, there is already a click developing. Key will be gelling and using all the attributes of each member. Three girls and very little physical strength may count against them. Media Tag: Power Puff Girls. And Phil. Prediction: They’re not expected to perform, but their heart, determination and systemisation could see them take this out. 1st RatOn Monday we were having our office meeting, just sitting around. We were all performing our usual tasks.
 Real Men taking care of bidness.Naughty Jayden facial.
This is a picture of my nephews. In this particular photo, Jayden is eye-gouging the shit out of Nikhil. he looks quite happy doing it. It’s my favourite photo at the moment, and it makes me smile. my brothers and me do our best to encourage this healthy rivalry whenever possible. It’s funny, Nikhil smiles and gets all happy when he sees Jayden, but Jayden refuses to look him in the eyes. It’s intense; it reminds me of Kane and The Undertaker from WWF before they were friends again. man I love the Undertaker. What an athlete.
Uncanny Phil x 4 Phil our screen printer keeps so much from us. He didn’t even tell us he was in a band called OpShop. They’ve got lots of great singles like ‘One Day’ and ‘Snoozing through an alarm’. Crikey.
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