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Written by Jay on February 19th, 2010.
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On Saturday I went to Waiheke Island for the day. Waiheke’s a wonderful place when the sun is shining; the air crisp, the birds in-tune, the derelicts placid, the water cool and the fruit sweet.
I was understandably delighted to be spending the day there. As I hopped off the ferry, I had enough time to have a quick disagreement with my special lady friend – good enough that the walk to Onetangi was completely silent and really fast. We made great time, which I love.
Whilst there, we obviously required a delicious meal to satisfy the growing hunger. Fish n Chips made sense. So too did the Onetangi Fish n Chips shop. Much like the feeling you get waking up after a big night on the New Zealand Lager, I immediately regretted my decision.
The prices listed on their menu were a dead giveaway. So too was the sign that read, “Expect to wait a while”. I chuckled and thought (well, hoped really), what great branding – these folk seem really light hearted and funny. Minutes later while still waiting I started to think they weren’t just following the ‘under-promise, over deliver’ management tag line my uni lecturer Mr Barlow had drilled in to me in 1st year. They really were that shit.
One of the chefs then noticed us waiting patiently and called to the waitress to pop inside and serve us. Approaching in a flurry of hand drying, the tubby employee approached and looked at us expectantly, without saying a single word. As we ordered, her expression barely changed, her eye contact was non-existent and I watched as she scratched her crotch for an extended period of time. As a reflex I diverted my eyes elsewhere where I stumbled across more of their tasteful branding – a sign that read, “be nice or leave”. This time I let out a cheeky little lol.
Upon receiving our food, we were astonished to find that our ‘scoop’ of chips was closer to a child’s handful, the spicy calamari consisted of two tubes, and the hot-dog on a stick was actually on a stick and not a tooth-pick.
Next time you go to Waiheke, take a picnic, unless you want to be served fish and chips by Lucifer. If you want real Fish n Chips go to ‘Bonzo Burgers Bar’ on Mt Eden Rd. Bonzo is a great guy.
 Mr Bonzo will give you a generous scoop of chips that for damn-tooting.
Written by Jay on February 18th, 2010.
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Some interesting news came to light today. Gisborne is the newly crowned ‘Clap Capital’ of the North Island. Which is great.
I think previously Hamilton had held the title, but they’ve now been defeated. Word has it a large number of New Years revelers had an impact in these telling statistics. I’m not pointing my finger at Hayden.
Our designer Joe is from Gisborne, and while he’s not too happy with the new title, he is thinking about a new t-shirt design. I have a feeling he will no longer be welcome in his family home.Gizzy.
Joe. Gazing off in to the fields of Clap.
Written by Jay on February 16th, 2010.
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Hayden came in to work today with a great drunken tale. He does this a lot. Youths. Him and his white mates purchased a few bottles of wine and drove them in to their guts. Drunk. Then, as it is done, they visited McDonalds.
That’s when Hayden decided he wanted to see one of his friends eat a ‘Pounder’ (comprised of 4 quarter patties w/ cheese in-between each). His tall mate Ollie was up for it, so Hayden obliged and set him on his way. Ollie can’t say no. But that’s another yuck story. He finished with ease, the only evidence being a slight sheen to his face. Meat sweats.
So Hayden got him a Double Pounder. 8 patties. 8 slices of cheese. $27 Large. The McDonalds manager was so stoked - he had never seen this feat achieved before - he was taking photos and even arranged for a bin to be positioned beside Ollie so he could put his meaty/winey guts in there.
 Glad I'm vegetarian.
Ollie got there in the end. Somehow. And then he took advantage of the managers generosity and put the contents of his insides in to that bin. Patrons watched on; some cried, some complained, and some applauded the act. All were amazed. Thanks Hayden. And Ollie too.
Written by Jay on February 16th, 2010.
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We thought it’d be cool to do a few new things around the place this year. To keep things fresh. So we did a bit of math. Chewed our pencils. Crunched some numbers. Scratched our heads. Carried a few two’s. Worked out that we could actually make the t-shirt of the day $19.95.
We all thought it’d be a good idea. So we just went right ahead and did it. YUS! NOW the t-shirt of the day is $19.95
THAT’S AWESOME. Tell all your friends about me. Like Batman.
 at just $19.95 even this kid can now cover up.
Written by Jay on February 11th, 2010.
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 The Seal Shooter just loves it. and you can tell. it's all over his face.
Written by Rob on February 10th, 2010.
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Take a load off. We'll take care of your tees.
Written by Jay on February 3rd, 2010.
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Written by Jay on February 1st, 2010.
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The start of the month brought with it an exciting little treat in the form of the returning Hayden.
Now, traditionally, when Hayden arrives back from a spell out, he comes equipped with some of the most exciting, unbelievable and entertaining stories. This time round, not so much. He did have one tale about getting strip searched for drugs at some summer youth event, but that was about it.
I’m sure you’re disappointed too, so I thought I’d post this lovely pic I got from his bebo page.
"I'd be a sexy chick..."
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Mr Bonzo will give you a generous scoop of chips that for damn-tooting.
